UGGH MORNING!!

Okay, so I have a couple things going on this am! I am trying to cut out coffee. Why I am doing this I am not sure, but I think it has something to do with my trying to live healthier life! DUMB MOVE! I think unhealthy and eating what I like might be a better choice.

SECONDLY, The problem with have a butt that is two sizes larger than your waist makes wearing jeans difficult. I have pulled them up a million times today, why I am wearing a belt. But the waist is too big and it feels like it is falling, when in reality the pants are just resting on my buttocks!

SO, on the Friday Morn here is too big butts and healthy lifestyles. AND we can't forget Chicka Bday Bash Tomorrow! WOO HOO!!

Chicka Bday Bash!

To say I am excited is an UNDERSTATEMENT!! A night on the town with my Girls is going to amazing! So here's to it, two more days and then out to paint this town red!! If you are out Saturday night and see a group of HOTTIE women, it will be us, so come break it down with us!!

Men and their BIG toys what does it mean!

Ok, so we have a dear friend that says boys with big trucks are compensating for something. Sort of the Lord Farquaad's of today's society. Used to men with little, well let's say, "noses" had big castles, big armies, etc. NOW they have BIG trucks, BIG four-wheelers, BIG tractors, etc. Well, I say that to say, this morning on the way to work I came into contact, not immediate contact, but close contact with about 10 huge trucks with HUGE NOISY MUFFLERS in Williamston. Before I had even got out of town. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that there are ALOT of men/boys in Williamston that have small "NOSES"! Have a great day! And be happy with what you got! It ain't the size of the ship anyway!!

It's Electrifying!

While working today, I had quite a lightning bolt of energy wave through me. Could it be my excitement for my upcoming mini vaca or the overwhelming excitement for my upcoming bday party. HELL NO, it wasn't either one. It was a shock I received from the damn expensive earphones my husband gave me as a gift a couple of weeks ago. You see there is this medical term called IPOD hear and it develops from the earbuds that come with the IPOD. Those of who wear them often know that they are not very comfortable, and I wear mine about 7 to 8 hours a day. I listen to music at work to drown out the other people in the admin hall, then I use them while working out. I had been complaining that they hurt my ears, so as a surprise he bought me so nice ergonomic earphones that we very comfortable. SOOOO today while listening to my background music I notice that they were sounding a little off. But I continued on my normal day, WELL about 20 minutes ago I got a SPARK and SHOCK from the damn earphones!! YES they shocked me. So if need me in the next hour or so, I will be busy changing the beneficiary to my life insurance policy and visiting the ear doctor. DUDE I am already deaf, I don't need any help!

The Month of Love

February is definitely the month of LOVE for me and not because of the widely famous holiday, Valentine's Day. But due to the fact that February is the month of my birth. What a glorious celebration, how amazing that a mere mortal could give birth to such an amazing creature such as myself. And on top of this magnificent event, some of my favorite people were born in February. So as Valentine's day approaches let's celebrate ME and a few of those wonderful people born in February: Amanda, Andrea, Jeremy, Justan, KaKa, Bishup, Emma R., and all you other glorious souls that have had the privilege to be born in the same month as I. Lastly, I will remind you that you now have 11 shopping days left!

MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY, oh wait its Tuesday

Let's just say I am not in the best mood today, there are many reasons for my current state. I will not go into those reasons, I will just say that today is definitely one of the factors in my not purchasing a weapon. If I did own one, several people would be bleeding right now. But because I am a responsible person and an awesome shot (not bragging just the truth), I don't own a gun!! SO I won't be on the news today, of course unless one of those pains in my arse, steps out in front of my Durango. Well then I have no control over what may or may not happen. HAVE A GREAT F***ing DAY!!!

CRAZY WOMEN WITH ROUGE NECKS!

Well, that was interesting. I just sent out an Evite for a Valentine's Day "Dare to Dream" party my girlfriends and I are having at my chicka, Jackie's, salon on Augusta Road. I was thrilled that I could text the Evite to my girlies! Apparently, I sent it to the wrong number, what used to be my friend, Niki's number. So for the last 15 minutes some very Rouge necked woman/girl has called and cussed me out. The phone calls began with a rebel flag wearing gentleman telling me to stop texting his phone cause I had gottten he and his "girl into some s***". I, ofcourse, being the nice person that I am apologized and explained that it was evidently the wrong number. However, after the 5th phone, where I had enough and explained to the lady that this was an issue between she and her naty light drinking mate needed to resolve. I simply had the wrong number and she should stop being a redneck and start to trust her mate. As you may have guessed, that went over VERY well. So to the finalize this entry, I will qoute my husband "AWW, that poor bastard!"

Friday Morning Drowning!!

And the Rains came and came! Yes today is a very wet and cold day. Just the type of day I LOVE so very much. (I truly believe that a sarcasm font would work well for me) It is on days like these that I get lost in my thoughts and dreams of the way my life may have been had I taken that right turn instead of the left,the left being the road that lead me here. Don't get me wrong, some days I am very happy bout having my butt sit in this very chair, but also there are days when I really wish I was somewhere else. So on these days listed below are a few of my secret dreams:

1. The Matriarch of large Kentucky Horse Ranch/Louisiana Farm. The house would be large and white with a porch large enough for about a 1000 rocking chairs, and a balcony off the top story. Now by matriarch I completely mean that I come from aristocratic old money and have nothing to do but ride my horses all day, get caught in rainstorms and retreat to a nearby barn to reenact one of my fantasies. (Won't go into that as this is PG 13) It would be on this lovely piece of deep southern property that I would drive down the long oak covered drive in my sweet convertible and yell "HELLO DAHHHLING, where is my GAWDD*** bourbon" as I got out of the car. Awwww the sweet taste of Turkey and Ginger on my porch overlooking acres and acres of land not a neighbor in sight! Once the bourbon kicked in, the fun dahhhling and I could have on said porch as the southern sun beat down on our bodies! But again keeping it PG 13.

2. If the farm didn't pay off, I would love to be a ROCKSTAR, some mix of P!nk and Shakira. HARD CORE in your face, hater white chick music. And yes I would be a beeeeaaatttcchh, I would travel with all my favorite chickas!! Melody- jewry girl, the Niki's-head of security, April- stylist, Amanda- Lyrics writer/designer, HollyP-PR girl, making sure my image was always as clean as it could be, Debbie-Accountant, Coral-Events Manager, Anna- Welcoming Committee/Making sure everyone was happy. It would be Anna that would make sure my tattoo artist got the designs EXACTLY correct and the only bourbon in the house was Turkey,whatever it took to keep everyone happy. I would do a show in front of millions of adoring fans, then go back to my dressing room and party with my chickas!!! Little boys would beg for our attention and we would send them on their way, as we all would be TOO much for them to handle!! ;)

3. Lastly, there is a part of me that would love to live on a island in the middle of the ocean. Just me, a few of my favorite people, and of course my kiddos. Maddie and Willie, if at all possible, would be even more beautiful, dark sun kissed skin and that white/blonde hair, LOVE. We would spend our days swimming in the ocean observing all of natures glory. Evenings in our hut by a fire plucking the ukulele, and singing to our hearts content.......

OH WELL, here my big a** sits in this office with my earphones on and wondering where my GAWDD*** bourbon is?

Good Friday and hopefully even better weekend!!

First Random

So I have decided to try this blogging thing again. Cause as much as I didn't think so, I think I really do enjoy expressing myself on paper or in this case on "net". This will probably NOT be a blog about the wonderfulness of my children or the lack of wonderfulness of my husband. However, I am pretty sure those things will leak in from time to time. This will instead be a blog about about me and pretty much the random thoughts that flow in and out of this mysterious thing called my brain. Many people have wondered what my brain does and sometimes I am pretty sure it does nothing but from now on it will do at least this one thing called blogging. And I must say watch out!!! Don't say I didn't warn you!!
Today I am amazed how important other people think they are, how they believe that you really care if they flip you off cause you pulled out in front of their car on the highway. Please note, that if I cut you off or run you off the road, I don't give a s*** whether you flip me off or not. Because truth be known I have no clue that I have done so, I am a horrible driver and most of time have no idea how especially terrible I am at it! Recently in my life, I have encountered hate from some people whom I have contact with on Monday thru Friday. I am not exactly sure why they dislike me so much, my personal opinion is because they have no control over my actions and they wish that they did (SIDENOTE: I also completely believe that are jealous of my incredible beauty and genius level intelligence. But I would never say that out loud, as it would be way TOO conceited of me to say aloud. So I will just let that go unsaid.) Sorry I digress, got caught up in my own personal wonderfulness, here is the thing I wish I could say to those people and my moment of wisdom of the day: F*** OFF!
Good Day all!!